Thursday, September 25, 2008

Walker

I'm fighting a nasty cold, too much work, and no sleep and my head is in a fog, which would have led to a really strange blog post today (one that might involve The Baby, no diaper, poo, my computer chair, and finger painting). So it's times like this that Chuck comes to my rescue and makes me giggle.



When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

Chuck Norris reads PamperingBeki blog. Really! Look at the first comment. Chuck is always first.

13 comments:

Chuck Norris said...

Chuck Norris can cure the common cold.

Danz said...

LOL this post is hilarious! Honestly, I really despised his show, walker texas ranger. He and Horatio from CSI: Miami can do anything it seems. The invincible red-headed crime fighters.

Princess Caitlin said...

^^ I like Horatio! I always waited for that moment where he puts his sunglasses on with an air of finality and walks off, having fixed the world's problems...

:)

Cindy said...

Hopefully you feel better soon!

I am going to have my son read this. He is a Chuck Norris fan or should I say Chuck-a-addict. Great post!

La Alicia said...

LOL!! That cracked me up!

I hope you're on the mend! :)

Sylvia C. said...

I love it!
And, I used to love the show as a kid!

Feel better soon!

Sylvia C.

Leslie said...

lol I love this post.

Mrs.Kwitty said...

LOL--can't wait to share these with my son, he is all about Chuck NOrris these days! I think I'll print them off and drop them on him little by little!
Smiles, Karen

Rebekah said...

Perhaps there should be a Chuck Norris Day? I'm sure there is... if he always comes first, then I'll bet it's the first day of every month :)

jennifer said...

Pure Blog Gold!! This was hysterical. Are you always this funny when you are sick?

Feel better soon and have a great weekend.

chatond said...

Lol...thanks for the giggle!

Sew Gracious said...

ROFLOL!!!! ;-)

Jus Shar Designs said...

I am HUGE Cordell and Horatio fan! I'm such a dork. <3