Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Breaking the rules.

I'm breaking all the bloggy rules today.
2 posts in one day, just a short time apart.
I have no picture for this post.
I really have nothing to say. I just need to ramble.
This is not upbeat and fluffy and happy and helpful and everything I think a blog post should be. It's the opposite.

I'm nervous about Cora's memorial today. There are so many emotions.
Such a beautiful child, a beautiful life, a beautiful family.

I'm so moved and inspired by the way this story has touched lives around the globe.
But at this cost? That crushes me.
People should never have to feel this amount of pain.

I swing back and forth from tears for The Macs, to smiling when I see their gorgeous pictures together. I smile when I read their blog and see their faith throughout this ordeal. If it had been me in that situation, would I have been able to compose posts like that daily? No way. It just blows me away that they could be so eloquent and inspiring in such a difficult time.

I want to take my camera to the service this afternoon to get shots of the parking lot.
I know it will be crazy crowded. I just want to document that love that our community is surrounding them with.
But is it tacky of me?
Who takes a camera to a funeral?

My dad called late last night and said he's nearby on business and wants to get together for dinner tonight. (He lives in another state.) So I'm excited about that. I love seeing him and I could use the distraction.

My thoughts and emotions are just bouncing all around today.
I'm nervous, sad, happy, anxious, scared all at the same time.

And if I'm having all these emotions as an outsider, I can't begin to imagine what The Macs are going through.
Please pray for them today and in the days ahead. This must be the darkest hour of their lives and they need strength and love.

Update: Well, it was about what I thought it would be - beautiful and heartbreaking.
Nearly all the women in the family wore hot pink which was so perfect!
I had the hardest time with the song "Blessed be the name of the Lord" and the line "you give and take away, you give and take away. But our hearts will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name."
There were lots of people there and lots of beautiful pictures. It reminded me of the power of photography. To capture a moment in time can be priceless.
The pastor talked a lot about blogging!
He was amazed by the way this story has connected people around the globe, and read quite a few of the comments left on The Macs blog.
God has used this sweet baby girl Cora in ways no one ever could have imagined.
She's touched more people in 3-4 weeks than most of us have in a lifetime.
I did take my camera and snapped a few pictures.
I only got one "look" that I know of, and that could've just been my perception.
I didn't put it to my eye a single time, just held it in front of me and snapped and hoped that some of them would come out.
Thank you all for the prayers for this family today. I know they could feel it!

34 comments:

Amy said...

I'm nervous, too, but encouraged by the amount of love that I know they will be surrounded with today. I agree, the parking lot will be amazing. Lots of carpooling going on over here. Take a picture from near your car. No one will even notice. It would be awesome of see that amount of support.

blessedmomto7 said...

Praying all day-wish I could be there-just couldn't make it happen-praying for all...

Anonymous said...

HI, you don't know me, but I lost a child several years ago, That day was such a fog to me and the weeks to come were too. I don't remember much except tears and hugs. I fully regretted not remembeing whether my daughter's hair was parted to the left or right, or how her hands lay by her sides or across her body. BUT my great aunt brought some pictures to me a year after the funeral. She took pictures of the back of the church, the crowds of people paying respects and of the flowers, and at the burial. She took those pictures I never even knew. But 12 years later I still look at those because sometimes it just feels good to remember how loved I was that day. I also know that if feels terrible to bring back those emotions. But I never want to forget how sad I was and how my community gathered around me when I was in need. So yes, bring your camera. If you feel out of place. then don't take the shot. But it will be a day for them that they will never forget, And even though it still hurts It feels good to know how loved I am.

Momma_Hug said...

I blogged over from The Macs blog. I think it's great that you are able to attend and support Joel and Jess. Taking photos of a funeral isn't a bad thing. For some it's a form of closure. I took photos of my brother-in-laws funeral, respectful photos. I have photos of his wife holding his urn and family gathered around it, none of them were posed photos. And I didn't interfere with people and their emotions. I didn't take photos during the service and I also made sure my husband was ok (it was his brother) with it as well as my brother-in-law's wife. It might be something that Joel and Jess may want later on, I don't know them. I hope this helps your decision. Please give them a hug from us that live states away. Our hearts are with them. With this being my first time to visit your blog, I hope I didn't over step bounderies or come across weird.

Julie said...

i am praying for you right now and the Macs. and it is perfectly acceptable to blog more than once a day!

Anonymous said...

My daughter passed away and now a 1 1/2 later i'm so glad I have the pictures. A friend took pictures of the people , the sky that day , the balloon release we did and even everyone hanging out that day . Now those are cherished pictures even though I didn't think they would be. You could give them a copy in a sealed envelope for when they are ready to open them. Be it now or a year.

Anonymous said...

My daughter passed away and now a 1 1/2 later i'm so glad I have the pictures. A friend took pictures of the people , the sky that day , the balloon release we did and even everyone hanging out that day . Now those are cherished pictures even though I didn't think they would be. You could give them a copy in a sealed envelope for when they are ready to open them. Be it now or a year.

Kristi REDISKE said...

Well-I am having the same emotions-I do not know Coras family-I did grow up in Newton and my friends knew them but that is my connection. I cannot how heartbroken I am for them. I know the Lord will be with him but I do not know how they can make it through-it will take all our prayers and many more. I know when my Father died someone did take some pictures and I am very glad they did. They did not take them at the church but at the cemetary-he was in the service so it was of the flag, the folding and handing to my mother. Although it was very sad I love having them. I think there will be a time that they would love having them. I really enjoyed your thoughts on today-I just feel very emotional. I will pray for wisdom for you.

Wendy said...

I've been following The Macs and I've been heartbroken since their terrible loss of Cora. I continue to pray for that family and hope that they will find comfort.

I, too, think you should bring the camera to take pictures. I'm sure that there will be some truly beautiful moments in this time of sorrow, ones that will be of great comfort in times to come. How could there not be when remembering that beautiful little girl? I think that you taking pictures is a wonderful idea.

Starsnrose said...

I'm so sorry the group of young couple friends and family are having such a tough time today. This truly is a parents worse nightmare. I too lost my son to a dreaded disease. Please don't be afraid to let this precious couple know how you are feeling. They too do not really know what to say or how to act. They will love you all the more if you allow them to remember and talk about Cora. Also, I agree that pictures will be appreciated at some time in the future. I so admire their faith which has all the earmarks of genuinely showing the "peace that passes all understanding". They will need you all the more in the weeks and years ahead. Be there for them. You will never regret sharing their lives and this tough road with them. They will never forget your effort and you will be the one more blessed. I am thinking of all of you today and praying in Arizona.

Ashley said...

I'm amazed at the outpouring of love for this young family. I just hope that they know how many people are thinking and caring about them. When my mom died awhile back, someone tried to take pictures and I flipped out about it. Especially in a situation like this, I would ask Cora's parents first.

Carrie said...

The Macs have been in my thoughts and prayers since I "met" them online a few weeks back. I can't get Cora out of my mind. I think having you take pictures during the memorial is a wonderful tribute to such a beautiful little girl and amazing family.

Carrie said...

The Macs have been in my thoughts and prayers since I "met" them online a few weeks back. I can't get Cora out of my mind. I think having you take pictures during the memorial is a wonderful tribute to such a beautiful little girl and amazing family.

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

certainly keeping her family and friends in our prayers... today will be a tough day... it will... i pray God's peace surrounds them today... and for so many days to come!

may they feel the love around them!

big hugs to you... i'm glad you shared your thoughts... you said it very well!

Judy said...

I say take your camera! Take picture of all the people who love them. Like other people said, I'm sure the day will be a fog to them and it might be nice of them to see the out pouring of love from so many people around them. I wish I could be there! I'll be praying!

Susan S. said...

It's been a crazy couple of weeks hasn't it? I didn't know Cora's family or Cora but kept up with their blog after hearing that we all needed to pray for them. I think it would be a sweet sentiment of you to take pictures. Your pictures are SO good and capture so much, I believe the family would like to have them later on.

I'm glad your Dad is coming today...it's always nice to be surrounded by loved ones when we are going through all these sad feelings. Take care...

forever folding laundry said...

I don't know them but have been so touched at the loss of their beautiful Cora. I've been praying for them today and will continue to do so.

~Cherie said...

I am a new blogger from Ohio. I can't stop thinking about Cora and her family. I also can't stop crying about her passing. I don't know the family but just needed to reach out to others who are thinking of them. Hoping all is well and that the tears will dry up soon. God bless.

Michelle said...

I have been so moved by The Macs also, I can't imagine what they are dealing with.
You do what you think is best...listen to your heart. I think that you've already said what your heart was saying in your post. You have a great eye through the camera, and I think that The Macs would love to see how you celebrated the life of such a beautiful child.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog from the Mac. I also don't know them personally, but have been following since hearing that Cora needed prayers from another blog. I have been in tears since hearing of her passing too. I have been laying awake at night wondering how the family is doing. I am glad to hear that the memorial was beautiful and that you got some pictures. I will continue to pray for them.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing about the service, I had been wondering about it all day... I'm just a blog reader from Illinois that found this site weeks ago, but was seriously drawn in, so anyway... thank you for the update, I appreciate that so much.
Lynn

Maureen said...

Thank you for blogging about the service... I too have thinking and praying for them all day.

Michelle said...

My grandmother passed away a year and half ago and my dad (it was his mother) didn't want me to take any pictures. We had traveled from Utah back to Missouri for her funeral since that is where we are from. I didn't take any photos, but I wish I had. At least in my case, I will probably never be back there and the family she has left will be gone and I have no picutres of them. I'm glad you followed your heart. It sounds like you are close to the Macs and that you have a wonderful support system there I pray for your whole community. Hugs from Utah.

Karen said...

thank you for sharing this. I have been having a very difficult time getting over this, even though I have never met them.
I have applied for a job today in the pediatric oncology department of our local hospital. Maybe a can make a difference. Maybe I can help someone through.

Jennifer said...

A beautiful post...I was praying for and thinking of them today....

Jennnifer

Polka Dot Moon said...

This family has left such an imprint on my heart. We've prayed for them since learning of Beautiful Cora. My heart broke of the news of her passing. We continue to pray for Joel and Jess. Thank you for sharing.
Denise Nagle
Scottsdale, AZ

Amy said...

I had the hardest time with that song, too. I think I cried all through it. I know that they truly believe that, though. They still want to say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord." Amazing.

Christine said...

Thanks so much for sharing about the service. Although I'll never meet Joel & Jess this side of heaven, I've been moved immeasurably by their story. I have a daughter just a few months younger than Cora. Their loss...I just can't even imagine. I cried off and on all day yesterday, and prayed viligently during Cora's memorial service. It's so good to know that God has surrounded them with His loving embrace and He's loving on them through sweet friends like you. Not only will I be praying for the Macs, but you guys as well. Continue to hold them up and encourage them. I'll be checking here from time to time. Please post if there are needs that they have that the community might be able to help with. May God bless you abundantly. With love from Texas.

Christine said...
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Christine said...
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jellybelly*jellybrain said...

I've only just caught up with your blog posts due to illness.
We too lost somebody young in our community last year. He was 12 and died in a quad-bike accident. I didn't know him ... didn't even really know his parents that well, but his sister is in my son's class so there was a very loose connection. I couldn't believe the overwhelming sense of grief I had. His funeral was on a beautiful, crisp autumn day and because I went, I can look his mum in the eye now whenever I see her and ask her how she is.
Life is overhewelmingly confusing some times.
xx

The Sieberts said...

i felt the exact same thing yesterday as i was getting ready for the funeral. i had a knot in my stomach. i didn't know why i should be nervous, but i think i was nervous about what i would fee and if i'd break down. but you know what? after a few tears i felt an overwhelming peace. It was such an encouraging celebration of Cora's life! i feel better today. i still hurt so much for Jess & Joel, but i am so joyful that Cora does not have any pain! It's such a fine line not wanting your children to have pain and giving them up to heaven. so many emotions! thanks for posting, i really felt the same things!

Leigh said...

Amazing post. Thank you for sharing that. They have been in my prayers.

Marsha Cashdollar said...

I have been really praying for this family... I got chills when I read your update just now, "You give and take away"... I have only been to one child's funeral and it is an experience that stays with you for all time. Thanks for sharing this family on your blog they touched my heart... little cora reached more than some may in their entire liftime