Saturday, September 12, 2009

I am so trashy.

A few days ago I decided that I was just going to sit under a blanket (maybe even a snuggie!), consume large doses of dark chocolate, coffee, and midol, watch tv and nap all day.
You know what I mean?

It was one of those days.

Then I popped online to check my email and got a message that What Not To Wear was in our town!
Looking for someone to give $5000 to!

This is one of my favorite shows ever.
I've begged The Man to turn me in before, but he swears I'm not that bad.

I replied to the email and was all, "Dude, are you serious?! I'm sitting here in my sweats and a tank with no bra, looking as WT as they come."



I was pretty sure that by the time I made it out, they'd have found at least 30 people in our town who desperately needed a makeover.
But figured I'd try anyway.
So out I went. Nappy hair. Day old makeup. No bra. Gnarly toes in desperate need of attention.

The Baby had insisted on a piece of cold fried chicken for breakfast and I was in no mood to fight with him.
And on our way to the car, he found a weed and popped it through his chicken he was carrying.
I hoped it would make me all the more appealing to Clinton and Stacy.


Our town is small and I knew if they were here, they could only be on main street.
So that's where I headed. I walked up and down Main street praying, "Please God, don't let me see anyone I know."

And I didn't.
Thank you God.

But then we walked by a thrift store and I saw a big sign in the window that says "What Not To Wear".
I went in and asked about it.
They said, "Oh we're just doing a window display of things that are bad outfits and things that are good outfits. We're not done with the display yet but will be soon."

Suddenly I was mortified.
I'd been walking around all skanky looking, dragging a toddler and his cold fried chicken, for nothing!
How embarrassing!!
The tv show wasn't there at all. Someone just saw the sign in the thrift store window and updated their facebook status with the news.



By this time it was lunch time, so we headed to my favorite high class food spot, grabbed lunch and headed home.

So if you're in my town and saw me the other day, I apologize for giving you the need to wash your eyeballs.
I know I was a scary sight.
But I had a good reason to be out that way.
So, I thought.

56 comments:

Mommafo said...

CRACK me up.

The McIntyre Family said...

This is too funny!!! I especially like the weed through the fried chicken...this is something I could see my two year old daughter doing!!!

Shealynn Benner said...

HI-LAR-IOUS!

Jeanneoli said...

That is AWESOME!!! I was just imagining you running around the town I grew up in (population 3,000) looking for What Not To Wear...that window display part was hilarious. So sorry. Seriously..there is NO way you are bad enough for that show. The people they get are messed up!!!!

Whimsical Creations said...

LMAO!

Jill said...

TOOOOOOO funny!!!! I may never be able to stop laughing!
Blessings!
Jill

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

laughing so hard... i can't take it!
too much... sooooo funny!

i always tell my husband...PLEASE sign me up for that... turn me in... i promise to act surprised! OR i want to be on the British gal's... trinny & suzanne... show... OMG... but they grab your boobs... have you seen THEM? they DO crack me up!

btw... you are ENTIRELY too cute for that show! have way too much style gf!

Stamping at tiffanys said...

Thats funny!!! But i think it was worth the try!!

LuLu said...

SOoo funny! You are too cute, the cold chicken and all had me laughing so hard...
LuLu

Heather said...

hey, i'm wearing sweats, a tank, and no bra most days!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I love WNTW - both the American and British (original) versions! Did you ever find out what the email was all about? I have to be honest and say I think I'd qualify for the show. I routinely go out in sweats, flip flops, ponytail and no make-up... although I do try to remember to put on a bra before leaving home. Also my jeans are high waist, tapered leg and not a dark denim. LOL

Lisa

Marc, Sarah, and Luke said...

O.K., Beki...That was hilarious to read. Nope, I didn't see you, but if I would've, I wouldn't have thought you were trashy or anything :) So, go on ahead and make catcalls again at me if you see me out walking.

Beth said...

VERY funny!

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

LOL!

Love the Decor! said...

You are too funny. Maybe we need to call Stacy and Clinton with this story and they would see how much you want to be on the show :))

Sycamore Moon Studios said...

You are SOOOO funny!

Blessed with Blue said...

I just sent this link into their show nominating you! LOL I think it would be funny if they picked you up!

Wendy said...

Oh Beki, let your white trashy side come out! Live your inner trailer park! You know I love that about you. And I think that it's great that bad baby was so willing to help you out like that. :o)

kraftykash said...

We dont have cable, so I dont know this show. But, you are way to funny! My "girls" are to big to go out uncovered, otherwise you described me to a T. Thanks for a great laugh. And a lovely piece of fried chicken! LOL

Sara said...

my son HAS a snuggie.
actually, he has 2.
(you know..."order within 3 minutes and we will throw in a second snuggie free"). It's all he wanted for Christmas.

I nominated Molly for what not to wear on my blog.

Farmgirl Paints said...

YOU are Hilarious!! That was so funny, seriously:) I definitely have those days. Actually I just ran into town and got sandwiches for lunch in what I wore to bed last night. Haven't brushed my teeth yet or combed my hair and then when I got home my new neighbor decided to come over and introduce herself. Great first impression I made:)

Taiya said...

But what happened to the e-mail?! About the $5000?

And I think i should just share that a couple of my friends and I had a Mommy night and wandered the mall and we were all trying on clothes and doing our best Stacy and Clinton to decide what looked good and what didn't. Yeah, we are all around 26 years old.. you wouldn't have known it by the giggling, though. :D

Heather :: Angel Face Designs :: said...

LOL! That is too funny!!

L said...

LOL...that is freaking Funny... :) L

Anonymous said...

PLEASE leave this one up a couple days!! I advertised it to a bunch of people....and I don't want them to miss this entry. Too funny :-)

Anonymous said...

PLEASE leave this one up a couple days!! I advertised it to a bunch of people....and I don't want them to miss this entry. Too funny :-)

Jody said...

Hilarious!!!! I was sitting in front of my computer laughing so hard at your post. My family probably thought I had completely lost it. Thanks for the chuckle. Love the pic of the chicken.

RedMarionette said...

Hilarious! Oh my goodness! I am laughing so hard!

Marlene W. said...

Okay, this just made me laugh!! I SO would have gone looking for Stacy and Clinton too! Thanks for sharing!

ps - If only you had been wearing socks with your flip-flops . . . ;)

Melissa said...

O now this is truly funny! Thanks for the laugh!

jody said...

SO FUNNY!!!
I especially love the weed in the chicken! I think you're too cute to make it onto the show anyway!:)

Jesse said...

HILARIOUS! I am rolling in the floor!

Bridget said...

thank you sooo much for making me laugh out loud...so much so I had to tell my sig other all about it...she laughed too...I love the weed chicken...
p.s. I love taco bell too

edytheanne said...

At least you still have your skanky youth. At my age, makeup just cakes up in the wrinkles leaving me looking cruddy even when I'm trying. LOL

Halo Hill said...

You are funny! I probably would have done the same thing! (Um, minus the toddler and the chicken, but otherwise the same)! I'm waiting for them to do an older fat Grandma type chick! I'm WAITING! No such.

Hugs,

Sheila

Polka Dot Moon said...

I've read this post twice now and still am laughing waaaay too hard! You're hysterical!!!

Trasie Bressler said...

LOL!!!!!t

Erica said...

that is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!!! i bet i would have done the same thing!

Christina said...

I really wish we lived in the same town...I want to hang out with you! Please don't think that's scary-it's totally a compliment. You are hilarious. That chicken cracked me up. And asking your man to turn you in. I'm still laughing.

flowergardengirl said...

You are very brave and a good sport. I'm a sucker for all that stuff too. I love this show cause it picks out real people with real ugly wardrobes. Fun to watch. Now where did I put my comfy pants........

Robynn's Ravings said...

Well EVERYone knows now what not to wear! But I don't know. You may be a fashion trend setter. Because I'm sitting here in the exact outfit you described! LOVED the weedy chicken. lol

CocoJ126 said...

i love it...and would have done the same thing!

ArtSnark said...

Absolutely priceless!

Annie said...

Very FUNNY!!!!!! I love this show too!

Susan S. said...

Thanks for the good chuckle...you are so REAL!! lOVE "the baby's" fried chicken...he has a "gift". :)

The Flying Bee said...

LOL!!! This was so hilarious!

Julie said...

This is too funny! You are brave, but I want to be on the show too so I guess sometimes we do what it takes. :) Thanks for being real!

Pfeiffer Photos said...

You really needed that Midol when you got home, huh? *snicker* oxo

Kasey said...

tooo funny girl.
I love it...and of course you know i love my snuggli!!

Krista said...

DY-ING! I totally would have done the same thing because I LOVE LOVE LOVE Stacy and Clinton!

Ruth said...

you crack me up! that chicken is ridiculous. still totally too cute to get on that show though, sorry!!

tara said...

you are hilarious!!! I love this much to your chagrin I am sure...

John and Elisa Seaba said...

I laughed the other day reading this and got another laugh just coming back today to comment. totally hilarious!

gina said...

Geez I WISH I lived in your town. I have a feeling life would never be dull with you all as neighbors. :)

Mike and Linda said...

Yikes, was that you....too funny.
You have a fun blog, we will read and be happy. Thanks....

amy d said...

i just thought you would like to know, that they really were in town and you didn't do it for no reason.
it was in the kansan. here's the link. http://www.thekansan.com/news/x560178557/-What-Not-to-Wear-searches-for-worst-dressed-American
hope that makes you feel a little better...i got a good laugh out of it though :)