Thursday, February 24, 2011

This is the day...

...that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Rejoice is my word of the year. (I wear this necklace every single day.)

I'm still sad. I've cried a ridiculous amount of tears.
I didn't think I'd grieve a puppy like I am, but that's what's happening.
Ellie is gone and I'm quite sure she's not coming back. (although it would be wonderful is she did.)

And despite that, I know that there is a Lord who loves me deeply. He cares about my hurts. He is sad for me.
And He has given me another day filled with blessings.

I've always been tender hearted. And when I was a kid, I thought it was a fault.
I didn't want to be "wimpy" or "weak" and it killed me that I cried so easily.
I fought it.
As I've gotten older, I realize that God made me this way for a reason. He made me exactly the way He wants me to be. Tears and all.
I'm learning to accept that I am fearfully and wonderfully made: created and molded by a master's hands.
I no longer fight the tender heart, but embrace the emotions God has allowed me to feel.
I am gentle, and that's okay.

I could sure use sunshine today but I'm afraid it's not coming.
We have gray freezing rain instead. But I will still rejoice in a new day.



*****
Thank you all for the sweet comments and emails yesterday! You touched me deeply.
Do you have sunshine today where you live?

28 comments:

Suzanne said...

It is gray and rainy here. But I am thankful for the rain since we have been in a drought. I sure hoped for a better outcome, but Ellie will always be in your hearts. I am so tender hearted when it comes to animals. I'm sure my husband thinks I am crazy!! I hope you guys will have a rainbow soon to brighten up your hearts.

Sarah said...

Partly cloudy skies here in Indiana. But, i think we are going to get the freezing rain you guys are having here tomorrow.

HeatherScent said...

I hope that wherever Ellie is, she is happy & safe.

Not much sunshine today, but at least it's above freezing.

BARBIE said...

Only a hint of sunshine here, and very cold. It's hard to rejoice when our hearts are breaking. But joy will come in the morning. Thinking about you and Ellie today.

Bethe77 said...

First (((HUGS)))
We have the strangest darn weather. I was awke once again to a ringing phone this morning telling me that the Portland schools are closed. Which is a funny stroy in of its self. But we had snow last evening truly it was just a dusting. But this morning we have pretty blue skys with big puffy white clouds. Who knows the weather man said snow all day. Yea! Have a super blessed day in HIM!

Danielle said...

I chose not to read your blog yesterday because I knew it would make me cry. I could tell by your fb posts and just the little bit I got from your lead-in to your blog what was going on. I'm so, so sorry. I'm tender-hearted just like you. I wouldn't change it for anything. I want to hurt for the things that hurt Jesus.

I love your idea of wearing your "rejoice" necklace everyday. My word for this year is listen. Want to make a necklace? Let me know your thoughts (email or fb). I'd love to wear one of your pieces everyday!

The Perfect Trio said...

it is rainy and cold here today. yuck!

my word this year, or two words, is {be me.} i have tried for years to live like others...have perfect kids, get enough sleep, make a ton of tees, i've done it all. i'm going to simply be me.

i'm blogging about your duck tape craft today. go see.

vreedyson said...

HI! There is lots of beautiful blue sky, warm sunshine and a light breeze here in Clearwater, FLorida. Could not ask for a more perfect day. Butterfly eggs are hatching, sunflower seeds and bulbs are starting to poke up. I will try with all my might to push some of this great weather your way. We lost our cat of 11 years outside recently. We don't know where she went, we suspect coyotes. But we know she gave us such joy and taught my children unconditional love. We will keep praying for you!

Jennifer said...

Ahhh to be loved by God, to be sensitive and caring - what a wonderful day... Jennifer

rentz said...

The older I get, the more easily I cry. I'll be a blubbering mess by the time I'm 50. Love ya, Beki!

~Gay~ said...

This song always puts a smile on my face...no matter what I am going through. Thank you for sharing it and putting a smile on my face! No sun here, but now I am smiling and all is well. God is awesome and He made all days, so let's rejoice!
~Gay~

Peggy said...

I keep praying your puppy comes back. No sunshine outside here in Ontario, Canada, however lots of sunshine inside.

Courtney B said...

No sunshine here where I live either on a day that I need it!! But you know what? This post just considerably brightened my day!! So thank you for that!
We need tender hearted people like you in this world :)

heather said...

Hi! Today is the first day I stumbled on your blog, I have seen your jewelry before (LOVE!), I have spent the last hour and a half reading all your previous posts. You had me laughing and crying! I love how you write, and I feel like I can really relate to you. Your blog is one that I will be visiting a lot!! :) I love it!!

Paula said...

No sunshine... in fact they are predicting severe weather with conditions favorable for tornadoes. :(

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Phil. 4:4

(He said it a second time in case we missed it the first!)

kendal said...

dreary here too. and i love the tender hearted. and i'm so sorry about your puppy.

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

No sun...=(

So, so sorry about your puppy. It breaks my heart...

SugarberrySensations said...

Gray, cold and windy here today Beki, but I love love love that you were able to find things to rejoice in!

I am still so sorry, my heart breaks for you all . . .but please know we are all here for you!

Cry away, talk away, whine away . . . whatever you need - we are here! :o)


♥Lori

Lisa said...

As sad as it would be for you not to get her back, I know she is being cared for. I do still feel she will come home to her family.
Hugs and prayers, Lisa

Country Dreaming said...

No same stuff you have---now it's snow.
I sure wish I could find Ellie for you.

Good Luck.


Melinda

Chad and Jody said...

I LOVE how you described yourself as "gentle." I've always been super sensitive, but I love gentle better. Sounds like you and I shouldn't go to a chick flick together- oh, wait. You hate those anyway! ha ha ha!

Jessica Johnson said...

I'm so sorry about your sweet little puppy. I pray that she will find her way home :). xxoo

tonya said...

The day started off rainy and dreary but by the afternoon it was a clear sky, sunny and 82 degrees. Loved it! That's why we fly south for the winter.

Michelle said...

Beki, I am so sorry. I'll pray she finds her way back to you.

Cheryl said...

It was a gray day here in Chicagoland. We are expecting snow tonight . .. but I will still rejoice. :)
I am a fellow "tender heart".
I love your blog and your jewelry. My word for the year is "intentional".

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Good Morning Beki Sweetie...
In the 70s and sunny here in Phoenix today. We are supposed to get rain though tomorrow and Sunday. I love seeing the sun shine and feeling it on my face. Today I will soak a little up for both of us. I wish I could bottle it up and send it straight on over to you sweetie.

I was so sorry to read about Ellie. Have you posted any missing signs around town? I would post a few maybe someone has found her already and is looking for a missing dog sign. Our critters steal our hearts, and that is why it hurts when something happens to them. They are our 4 legged kids.

Love this sunflower photo. It is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing sweetie.

Stay warm, and keep looking Ellie is out there somewhere. I will be keeping her in my prayers, and youa s well. Have a glorious day sweetie. Many hugs and much love, Sherry

keepingthemistakes said...

I'm so sorry about your puppy! I have always been so tender-hearted too, an easy cryer. And I have fought it and fought it. I wish I could be at peace with it like you are. I have hardened myself, I'm afraid, so I don't feel things like I used to. I love that you say God made you that way for a reason, but it makes me think I was made that way for a reason too, and I should quit fighting it! Blessings on letting go as you go look at new puppies, but I'll still hold onto the hope that she might come back!

Grandmommy said...

I know exactly what you mean. I cry at the drop of a hat and so does my Mom and brother. Yes, I felt like I was disabled because of it. Then I heard a song, "Tears are a language God understands." I sang it in church and yes, I cried. Duh!

I have dry eyes so when I cry my eyes burn so it becomes obvious (especially singing in a choir) and people think something's wrong. No, just touched (heart not head hopefully).

I also cried my eyes out when my dog died. I was at work and holding it together until someone looked at my face and asked what's wrong. Started bawling.

So yes, I totally understand. Good luck with the puppy hunt. I can't resist puppies so we have 4 dogs right now. :)

Karen