Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Wait. He loves me?

A song we sing sometimes in church is "Oh, how he loves us."
And I believe it.
Oh, how he loves us. Oh... Oh.. how he loves us.

I'm a cheerleader. (without the bare belly and short skirt. You're welcome.)
I'm an encourager.
I'm always stressing to my children how much God loves them.
And I believe it.

I tell my friends often that they are deeply loved by the God of the universe.
And I believe it.

Oh, how he loves us.
I believe that.

But recently in church one Sunday, the worship leader said "Change the words. Sing Oh, how he loves me."
And as the congregation sang, I got a lump in my throat.
It was brutally difficult for me to turn those words around and sing "Oh, how he loves me."

Am I not one of "us"?
I have no problem at all telling others how loved they are.
When people email me for encouragement or cry on my shoulder, I can assure them that God loves them so much he counted every hair on their head, and every freckle on their nose.
And I believe it. With every bit of my heart, I believe it.
Take a look around at wildflowers and caterpillars.
If he made them so beautiful and intricate, how much more work and love did he put into you?

But me?
That's different. Apparently.
I couldn't sing the words without tears flowing.
I had no idea that I didn't believe the exact message I've been telling people for years.
But apparently I didn't.
I've been so happy to pour out and lift others, but didn't even realize how much I needed lifted, myself.

Sometimes this blog is silly, sometimes fun, but what it always is is real.
And that's where I am at this point in my life.
Trying to grasp that I am one of "us".
And that he loves me, just as he loves all of you.

I'm closing my eyes, breathing in, and trusting that the God who created the universe, loves me deeply, just I know he loves others.


rentz said...

Oh, how He loves YOU!

.....Elizabeth..... Polka Dot Skies said...

You just put into words how I often feel. "Little ol me? What makes me so special?" God's grace... it's such a wonderful thing.

Lynnette said...

That is one of my favorite songs to sing at church! And it is weird to think about the words as ME instead of US but it is so true! He loves ME! <3 Great post!

Lisa @ Life is Crazy Beautiful said...

Awesome...yes, I think the ME of US is often the hardest one to completely believe. {It's that enemy whispering in our ear that we are somehow the exception}.

You area a wonderful sunshiny encourager - so believe it girl {keep reminding yourself} :)

Rachel Miller said...

Wow, that's awesome! I got a lump in my throat just reading this. :) Thanks for sharing!!

flower power momma said...

beautifully said. Oh how He loves you and me. We sang it as a lulaby ito our babies .

merlin said...

we are usually blind to the truth that "we DO what we NEED," sounds like you've seen the light. Now to keep telling yourself that "God loves Beki."

Unknown said...

Oh how He love YOU, Oh how He love Me, Oh how He loves YOU and ME! -

On Sunday our pastor said, You are worthy. Satan might try to tell you, you are not, but God says you are worthy. Who are we to question God?

It really made me stop and think, ya know?

So my dear one...our wonderful and loving God says, YOU, yes you Beki are worthy! Believe Him!

Sally @DrinkingFromMySaucer said...

This is where it's at, Sister. Thanks for sharing, and reminding ME that HE loves ME! I know what you mean. Those personal songs are always hardest to sing w/o tear-flow! But aren't those kind of tear-flows SO CLEANSING? They refresh our eyes, giving us new perspective! Hmmmm,I feel like singing now. =D
HUGS! ~Sally

BARBIE said...

I could have written this post myself. I blog, sharing God's love with others. But God's love for me has always been something that I just cannot grasp. I hope I finally will be able to this side of eternity!

Danielle said...

This brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. So true. Oh, how he loves YOU and me!

Brittany SSP said...

Teared up during this. I have the same thought process- I can see good in those around me but when it comes to myself, it just doesn't seem to be the same.

Ruth said...

He loves you - and so do I! Dear sweet cheerleader, you are so precious to all of us. United in salty carbs, Ruth xoxo